A moment of insecurity and difference, I can always feel it when I am with friends from school. The amazing, beautiful girls that stand around me, that seem to glow… All the time. If there is a place where you could feel most insecure, dear god why is it school. Living the life in a shadow is what it feels like, even though I still fit in with them, and still get along with most of them; sometimes it feels as though they don’t like me, like being the 3rd wheel at times. It’s not always easy going into a group where the people you know were already very close, it’s hard. It’s like being the shadow of the centre of attention, still being there, but not being seen. It happens, I’ve learnt to just not let it get to me, but sometimes I can just crack… It’s like I am not good enough for how amazing they are. Yes, it may not actually BE THE CASE, but for me it feels like it, and though I wish I could, I can’t change feeling so insecure about myself, I can’t help feeling so down about being around these people, it sucks having to make the extra effort sometimes. Why? Ugh. A lot of these people do a whole deal to make me smile, I know they make the effort for me to fit in and they definitely don’t fail with making me laugh, but its like theres just something missing, like I can’t seem to put my finger on it… Maybe it’s just myself missing in action, although I am actually there. Sometimes though they do leave me out, I know they don’t mean to, but sometimes I guess they do it without thinking, I don’t blame them though, not exactly the perfect friend. Ha. I wish someone could understand how lonely it may feel. I try to explain but they just go “we love you! You got to stop thinking that ‘cause it’s not true. God.” If only they’d put themselves into my shoes for a day, even an hour would do. I don’t think they deserve such a friend like me, so negative, but they still try there hardest to help me fit in, and I guess I can’t change that. I do have amazing friends, I am so lucky. I just guess I take it for granted, but I don’t mean to, yet sometimes it is like they don’t care. I don’t know.